Personal Journal Entry 12.24.158

I think I'll convince Lola in joining me in my new life. Her new teacher will be closer, she'll be safer...I just have to get her over her fear of Imperials.
They could really use someone with her knowledge of the healing arts for Humans. Plus, she'll actually get an income!
Looking into acquiring force screens for the doors in the barracks.
If that doesn't keep out the next potential wave of Caedix infected, then I might as well just give up now. It'll at least keep out the undesirables.


Personal Journal Entry 12.23.158

More Yazatas poems that of course made me think of Kel. I really need to stop looking at poetry. I haven't heard anything from him, I hope he's okay.
I need a drink and a strong hallucinogen...

Edge of the Ocean

There's a place I dream about
Where the sun never goes out
And the sky is deep and blue
Won't you take me there with you?
Oh, we can begin again
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in.
At the edge of the ocean
We can start over again.

The Dreaming Sea

The Dreaming Sea flexes in the lilac light
and you're the moon and I'm the tide
cradle my head
kiss me like you wish me dead
breathe life into me
till I feel as though I'll never sleep again
to close my eyes and feel the whole world swim
till I don't know where you end, where I begin
the dreaming sea
whispers its too late to be saved
the next kiss could be the ninth wave
you and me
upon the bare teeth of the rock
at the mercy of the dreaming sea

Where's the Ocean?

Where's the ocean for us?
As my body touches you and my soul entwines
the view of an ocean and a sea of love
down into the depths of time
and all eternity down into the depths
of all the things I find reminding me
your voice it's calling me haunting me like ghosts at sea.
Will you be the one, my ocean and my divine?
Where's the ocean?
Where's the moments I once knew inside my heart?
I stand pointed by the view you want to stay
as the silhouette of lovers fade into decay.
Playing with the thoughts still tortured,
we were once true lovers
but now I don't see the ocean very clear.
Come and dive into my sea and remember the call.
Remember the cry of time.
Where's the ocean for us when you covered me with kisses?
It meant so very much.
Where's the ocean?
The ocean's here.


Personal Journal Entry 12.16.158

I came across these Yazatas poems...

Exquisite Creature
What can I say about what I know not,
But I feel something deep within.
To some chamber inside with the depths to confide
That smile of stature of sin.
Blazing eyes of a burning sun.
Locking...no looking away.
The desire for fire keep making us higher.
Clear the way.
We will meet.
We will play.

Exquisite Creature II
What could I say about what I knew not,
But I felt it...I felt it within.
To that chamber inside with all depths to confide
That smile - a sensual sin.
Those blazing eyes of that burning sun
they locked...no looking away.
The desire for fire kept making us higher.
Clear the way.
We have met.
Time to play.

I am no longer lost. I've spoken with Preacher and he helped me see what I need to do. I've got to get away from the void and enter into a zone of productivity with resources available. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. If I want to start a new life, then I must commit. So I did.
I spoke to Colahn. When Legion's contract is up in March, I start my new life.


Personal Journal Entry 12.10.158

For you Kel, for the day when you return to me.

Echo of a Whisper

I think about your being
All inside who you are
While the whispers echo softly
It is here...you are not far
From the hand of sensuality
The eyes a mask of grace
With a soul that takes your body
Off this world without a trace
I think about your spirit
What it holds until set free
And the whispers echo softly
It is here you want to be.
In the touch of truth and sanction
In the arms of all thats real
In the hearts and minds that live as two
that as one they breathe and feel.